Download the PDF
version of this article if you wish to view it or print it out
with the same formatting as appears in the print version of the
Rocky Mountain Review.
(Requires Adobe Acobat
Reader.)
Amber L. Hollibaugh. My Dangerous Desires: A Queer Girl
Dreaming Her Way Home. Durham: Duke University Press,
2000. 278p.
Michael Kramp
University of Northern Colorado
Amber Hollibaugh's My Dangerous Desires is truly a cumulative
book; it represents the culminations of a life -- both physical and
intellectual -- filled with struggle, passion, and most importantly,
desires. The text brings together important prose from Hollibaugh's
lengthy career in political activism, including various genres such
as memoir, interview, essay, and dialogue. The majority of her
recent activism revolves around the Lesbian AIDS Project in New
York City, but her writing illustrates the influence of her history
in earlier social movements, such as Civil Rights, Feminism, and
Gay Liberation on her ideas and subsequent actions. Hollibaugh is
a poignant writer who is able to expose the artifice of commonly
held assumptions about sex, desire, and class; and while her book
discusses the limitations of our current conceptions of sexuality
and sexual identity, it deserves special recognition for its ability
to reveal the realities of class in America culture and the great
potential of human desire in the political arena.
In the "Foreword," Dorothy Allison recalls Hollibaugh's own desire
to "speak to academics without fear" (xiii). Even though this
compilation offers little of the critical apparatus of traditional
scholarly writing, My Dangerous Desires does address important
concerns of the academic community, specifically in relation to our
conceptions of class, gender, and queer identity. Hollibaugh refuses
to separate her personal history from her ideas and argues "that
history matters, that it is one of the few tools within our grasp
which we can use to reconstitute our understanding of our individual
human lives and longings and our larger collective experiences" (4).
Her use of personal history drives her work, and she suggests that
this story of the individual allows one to express desires and
create relationships with others. Hollibaugh's claim is strikingly
reminiscent of the philosophy of Gilles Deleuze and Félix
Guattari, who theorize the revolutionary promise engendered by
packs, or assemblages of desiring individuals. Like Deleuze and
Guattari, Hollibaugh emphasizes the power of desire to incite
revolutions, unite diverse people, and produce pleasure. She
announces her interest "in writing about our actual, messy,
passionate, imperfect, desiring lives"; and by doing so, she
allows herself to imagine "the dreamed-about spheres of the
possible" (7, 29). Hollibaugh's focus on this visionary realm
of the possible, facilitated by the untidy desires she investigates,
forces academics to reconsider their understandings of gender,
sexuality, and class. Her writings powerfully detail the desires
of gay individuals of color, sex-workers, members of the working
class, and high-femme dykes; she unveils the immense capacity of
these socially-muted longings to transform current academic
conceptions of identity and pleasure.
Her discussions of the effects of desire on the construction of
class identity are direct and honest. Although the academic
community continues to struggle to enunciate the role of class in
identity-formation, Hollibaugh manages to capture succinctly the
importance of this social marker. She indicates that "being poor
weds itself to your essence, embeds itself in your spirit, your
heart, wraps itself around the convictions you carry, around
every expectation and dream you harbor" (10). Her poetic comments
become quite real when she discusses such issues as the politics
of the sex trade and the struggles of gays and lesbians within
the labor movement. In "Sex Work Notes" she confronts the
reluctance of the Feminist Movement to address women's realities
in the sex trades. She recounts her own experiences in the field
and argues that she and other women turned to various forms of
sex labor out of financial necessity -- "it always starts with
just trying to get by" (182). She insists that "if sex work is
work -- and I maintain that it is just that, wage labor, service
for a fee -- then the issue of working conditions is something
that a movement dedicated to the liberation of all women cannot
choose to ignore" (184). Her comments underscore the immediacy
of class in determining social identity, particularly for women.
She treats class as a concrete feature of individuals' lives and
desires that does not disappear.
She returns to her own class upbringing throughout the book to
remind us of her own history and her incessant desire for cultural
reform. While she illustrates the power of desire to promote social
change throughout, she devotes numerous writings to her attempts
to increase AIDS awareness amongst lesbians. In "Lesbianism is not
a Condom," she points out that the "invisibility of lesbian risk
for HIV is a classic example of the greater sexual and social
invisibility we suffer in the world at large" (187). Her struggle
to educate lesbians about their susceptibility to HIV leads her
to encourage these women to name and proclaim their sexual desires.
In a later essay she calls for a "lesbian sexual language ...
to talk openly about what we really do in bed with another women
(or with a man)" (199). Hollibaugh demonstrates how dominant
cultures, including heterosexual white middle-class feminism,
will continue to erase lesbians and their participation in larger
social crises unless we construct a way to speak freely about
lesbian sexuality. Hollibaugh knows that candid discussions of
lesbian desire will stimulate revolutionary changes in our
conceptions of sexual politics. She wants lesbians to be
knowledgeable about their risk of AIDS, but she also wants people,
gay and straight alike, to announce unreservedly their sexual
desires in order to make visible those identities that normative
society has preferred invisible.
Hollibaugh's leadership in the Lesbian AIDS Project has enabled
her to synthesize her passion for sexuality with her longing for
social change. In the memoir portion of her book she admits "that
every identity has its price" (16). She is not ignorant of the
risks involved in enunciating one's sexual status and sexual
desires; she knows this is a dangerous process, and this danger
excites her. She concludes: "Before there is thought, there is
sensation and desire. Always the miracle appears when there are
no expectations left for its arrival. Sex has always been that
way for me" (263). Her work upholds this nexus between sensory
experience and intellectual activity; it urges us to consider
our sexualities as a potent mechanism for exploring new ideas and
possibilities -- a mechanism that remains notably under-utilized
in the academic community. Although these sexual desires can be
dangerous and messy, they are also generative and pleasurable.
Hollibaugh declares that "no gender system is natural, no system
of desire organic or removed from the way culture creates human
experience" (264). If this is true, her invitation for us to speak
freely about our sexual passions has the potential to "create a
movement willing to live the politics of sexual danger in order
to create a culture of human hope" (269). And while this hope for
true sexual diversity has yet to be fulfilled, Hollibaugh's work
will help both academics and non-academics imagine new sexual
possibilities and theorize the impact of desire on radical
social change.
|